All That Matters (Nightshade MC Book 3) Read online

  He didn't realize that he was going to kiss her until he did. He moved his hand up to her hair as her lips parted and she began to respond to him. He was able to get a good hold on her hair and he tugged lightly, he couldn't help it. She tensed against him but kissed him harder. Train slid his free hand down to her ass. He squeezed, and she moaned against his mouth. He thrust his hips against her. He'd been rock hard since he'd caught the scent of her perfume.

  She tore her mouth away from his; her breathing was fast and heavy. “Wait.”

  Train nearly groaned. He let go of her hair but kept a grip on her ass. Her perfect ass. He brought his other hand down, held her tight against him. “He's wrong. He couldn't be more wrong.” The bed was just a few feet away so he turned them towards it.

  “Wait,” she repeated. “We can't do this.”

  No meant no. Train released her immediately and stepped back. He adjusted his now painfully hard cock and tried to look non-threatening. “I'm not gonna force you to do anything.”

  “No.” She blushed. “That's not it. The boys are downstairs. I've got chicken parm in the oven. It's really shitty timing. You could come back later. You should come back later, if you want.”

  Train closed the distance between them, gripped her ass again and pulled her close. “I want to.” He knew that she could feel how much he wanted her. “What time do they go to bed?”

  “Nine o'clock,” she replied, slightly breathlessly. “They're usually asleep by ten.”

  “I'll be here at ten.” Train leaned down and nipped at her bottom lip. “Save me some of that chicken parm.”

  “Or you could stay,” she offered. “Have dinner with us.”

  “Just save some for me, and for you, we're going to be hungry later,” Train told her. “I'll be back at ten. Guess we should head back downstairs before it burns or the kids set the curtains on fire trying to light farts.” Train felt himself grin as she made a face at him. “What? That's what kids do.”

  “Please don't tell the boys that because I really can't afford for this place to burn down. It's not much, but it's paid off,” Meg said with a laugh. “But, you're right. We should go down.”

  Train adjusted himself again as they left the room. He heard a familiar voice when they were on the stairs and found Monroe in the living room with the boys. Monroe didn't look surprised to see him. “Monroe's going to stay for dinner, Meg. We invited him because he said that your food smells so good.” The smaller boy, Leo, smiled widely. “That's okay, right?”

  “Leo invited him. Not me.” The surly older boy, Joshua, rolled his eyes. “Can I go upstairs now? Are you done? Dad said I should stay down here until it was safe.”

  “Yeah, it's safe,” Meg replied. “Sure that you don't want to stay for dinner?” she asked.

  “I'm sure,” Train replied. He didn't tell her that he'd see her later because Monroe already had a borderline pissed-off expression of his face. “Take it easy.”

  “Hold on a second.” Monroe cleared his throat. “I'll walk you out. I wanted to talk to you about something, anyway.”

  Train didn't bother to hide the huff of irritation that escaped his lips. If Monroe tried to get up on a soapbox, he was going to knock him right off of it and onto his ass. He had no say in what happened with Meg, unless he was banging her. If he was, he obviously wasn't doing a good job of it, by her response to the kiss upstairs. She'd been on fire. He swore he could feel her heat through her jeans. The memory made him hard again.

  They stepped out onto the porch. The rain had stopped, and Train thought that he saw a flake of snow fall. He really hated winter. “What are you doing here, Train?” Monroe lit a cigarette. “And don't tell me dropping off the stuff from Caroline. I'm talking about being upstairs?”

  “You fucking her? Give me one of those.” He snatched the pack of cigarettes out of Monroe's hand.

  “No.”

  “Then it isn't any of your concern what happened up those stairs.” Or what would happen once it was ten o'clock. Train couldn't wait.

  “You're wrong. She's my friend, and I care about her and those boys. Always have.” A dark look crossed Monroe's face. “A couple of times, I let Josh go when I could have taken him in. I did it because I thought that it was better for her and the boys. So she could keep the boys, but I should have helped her get legal custody, locked Josh up and thrown away the fucking key. All this now, it's partially on me. I'm not going to be a part of fucking her life up more.”

  “Fucking me would fuck her life up?” Train was offended. “I've never put my hands on a woman in a way that she didn't want. And I don't bullshit, I have no intention of promising her anything. So, we're good.”

  “No. We're not. She's not the one night stand type. You want to get off? Call one of the girls. Hell, call Claire! There's nothing that she wouldn't let you do to her.” Monroe tossed his cigarette to the ground.

  “If I wanted to fuck Claire, I'd fuck Claire.” Train tossed his cigarette as well. This conversation was going downhill fast. He was actually proud of the control that had kept him from punching Monroe right in the mouth the moment he'd started to talk.

  “Fuck whoever you want. Just don't fuck Meg.”

  “You want to be with her or something? If that's the case, man up and say it, Brother.” Train didn't think that was what was going on, but he wanted to be sure. “And if that's not it, you're going to want to back up out of my business. Now, I'm going to go the fuck home because I can't look at you anymore.”

  Chapter Four

  The food must have been good; everyone but Meg ate seconds. She had a hard time finishing her first plate because her mind kept focusing on other things, things like the fact that she could feel a tingle between her legs just by recalling the kiss she'd shared with Train. He hadn't been gentle with his mouth or hands. She should have been scared, but she wasn't, instead it was like the kiss had flipped a switch inside of her. It had been two years and maybe six months since she'd last had sex or even kissed anyone in a romantic sort of way. And she'd been fine with that. Really fine. At least she knew that she could make herself come almost every time. Not dating meant that she could really focus on the boys. Meg desperately just wanted to make sure that they turned out normal. She looked at the clock and sighed because it was only eight o'clock. If she tried to get the boys to go to sleep early, they'd pitch a serious fit, and she wasn't in the mood for that in the least. She was in the mood to get laid.

  The conversation she'd overheard on the porch had made her nervous. Why was Monroe so insistent that Train stay away from her? Meg knew it wasn't because Monroe wanted something with her. He'd made that clear with his speech about Josh. Was he scared that Train was going to physically hurt her? Force her into something that she didn't want to do? Bile rose in her throat at the mere idea she might end up in over her head, again. Train didn't give off that vibe, but her track record with judging character was questionable, thanks to Carlos. Meg swallowed hard and headed down the hallway into the bathroom, where what she had managed to eat came back up violently.

  What the fuck was she doing? What was she thinking? Hadn't she learned her lesson?

  Time seemed to fly after that. The boys not only put the dishes away, but they'd picked up their things out of the living room, too. And they made no protest about going to bed. Meg had half hoped they'd have one of the nights where they just didn't settle down, but of course, they did. At two minutes after ten there was a knock on the door. Meg opened the door to see Train on the other side. “Hey. I... Um...” She exhaled a frustrated breath. “I think that we might be moving things a little fast.” She saw a look flicker across his face, but she didn't know what it meant. “I'm sorry.” Apologizing was second nature to her. “I just... Monroe was right about one thing. I'm not a one night stand kind of girl.”

  “You were listening?” He cocked an eyebrow at her and seemed to be more amused than annoyed at the fact.

  “The two of you weren't exactly anything that resem
bled quiet. And the door was open. So yeah, I couldn't help but listen.” Meg averted her eyes from him, not because of the conversation but because she was staring like an idiot. Train really was one of the most handsome men that she'd ever seen in her life, even if he could probably use a trim of his dark brown hair. It was a little more unruly than he normally wore it.

  “So what you couldn't help but overhear is giving you second thoughts?” he asked.

  “It's part of it,” Meg replied. He gave her the same look from earlier, like he could see right through her, and she felt compelled to explain more, but she couldn't dump her story on him. She wouldn't. The past was going to stay where it was because no good came of bringing it up, not for her or anyone else. “And it's not that I'm not seriously attracted to you because I am. It's just been a very long time since I've...” she trailed off. “Fuck.”

  “I think if we fucked, we'd have a really good time,” he pointed out with a grin. “Look, I'll be straight with you, I'm not looking for anything more than a good time. If that's not your thing, I get it. There won't be any hard feelings on my part.”

  Something about his voice and how serious his expression was made the tingle from earlier reignite inside of Meg. “Do you want to come in? It's cold out there.” For a moment she worried that he was going to refuse, but then he nodded and stepped forward. She had to step back to not be bowled over by him. “You want something to drink?”

  “What do you have?” he asked as he stepped inside.

  “Beer. Maybe some Jack Daniels, if Josh didn't find the bottle.” Meg shut the door and turned both locks. When she turned from the door she nearly smacked straight into his chest. He reached out and gripped her chin the way he had earlier. The contact was a surprise, but she didn't pull back from it. She thought that he was going to kiss her again, but he didn't.

  “You don't have to be scared of me.” His voice was so low that at first she wouldn't have heard him if they weren't so close. “I'm not a nice guy, but I've never touched a woman in a way she didn't want. I've got no plans on starting now.”

  Meg shut her eyes. “I don't want to be scared of you,” she said finally. She didn't want to be scared of anything, actually, but it seemed like she was scared of everything.

  “So don't be scared,” he replied. “If you wouldn't have remembered what you were cooking before, something would have already happened between us. You didn't seem scared of me then.”

  She had been a little scared, mostly of the pain that she imagined would come from having sex after so long. Nothing else had started to scare her until after he was gone, when she'd gotten lost inside of her own head. “This is just a good time, right?”

  “A really good time,” he corrected and closed the distance between them completely. Meg was pinned to the wall, but she wasn't scared. She didn't have words for what she was, but as his mouth closed down on hers, it didn't matter, nothing mattered except the tingle which had now spread to her full body.

  “Wait.” Meg pushed her hands against his chest as she remembered the two boys sleeping upstairs. She didn't want them to see something that would scar them or lead to an impromptu discussion about the birds and bees.

  “Not again,” he sighed but immediately dropped his hands and stepped back.

  Meg couldn't help it, she started to laugh. “It's not that, I'm not saying stop. I was going to say we should probably go upstairs before the boys come down for a drink.” Or before Josh came home, but she didn't want to think about her brother now.

  “That's probably a good idea. You said that you had some Jack, maybe we should grab it,” he suggested.

  Liquid courage sounded like a wonderful idea. Meg wasn't having second thoughts, she was just nervous. The way that he kept looking at her wasn't helping matters at all. It was almost predatory. She wasn't sure anyone had ever looked at her like that before. “I'll get it.” Her mouth was suddenly dry as she walked over to the bookcase and removed several hardcovers until she found the bottle she'd hidden there.

  “You hide your booze in books?” Train spoke and once again he was right behind her.

  “It's the one place that I know Josh won't look.” She set the bottle down and replaced the books carefully.

  “You actually read all of these or do you just think they look nice?” he asked.

  Meg thought that it was an odd question. In fact, the entire conversation was odd when she could still feel the steady throb of need between her legs from the kiss that they shared. “I've read most of them.”

  “Nice.” He came in closer to her. His hand went to her hair and did the tug thing that she remembered from earlier. No one had ever pulled her hair, except maybe some bratty kid in school. It had been a surprise how good it felt. It felt just as good now.

  Harder. The word flowed through her brain, but she didn't let it cross her lips. “You ready to go upstairs?” Meg asked. He nodded and released her hair. “Follow me.” She hoped that she sounded less nervous than she felt, because all of the good feelings had made her forget that her least favorite part was coming up, getting naked in front of someone for the first time. Once in the bedroom, Meg turned on the lamp near the door and shut off the overhead light. Train turned the lock on the door, she'd forgotten to do that, and flipped the light back on.

  “Leave 'em on. I want to see you.” Train came towards her, took the bottle from her hand and opened it. He took a long swig and passed the bottle to her. Meg took the bottle, drank deeply and handed it back to him. She thought that he'd drink again, but he turned to put it down on her dresser.

  Meg nearly moaned when he pulled off his shirt. She'd felt his body against her, so she'd thought that she had an idea of what to expect. She'd been wrong. The reality of him without a shirt was so much better than what she'd pictured in her mind. He was lean, with well defined muscles she couldn't help but want to touch.

  “Your turn,” he told her. “Here, let me. I've been thinking about this.”

  Meg inhaled deeply as he grabbed the hem of her shirt. She immediately wished that she'd changed into a better bra, maybe even one that matched her panties, but she didn't have a time machine to make it happen, so she took a deep breath as he pulled the material up. She lifted her arms and shut her eyes so she couldn't see his reaction to her body.

  “Open your eyes.” It was clearly an order. His voice was as gruff as she'd ever heard it. The sound sent a tremor through her whole body. She opened her eyes to find him looking right at her. He tossed the shirt to the floor, and then his hands were on her. His fingers traced over her sides, around her back and up. “Keep them open.” He leaned in and nipped her bottom lip. Meg wished that she'd had more Jack, because it felt like she was about to explode out of her skin as he unhooked her bra and pulled it down.

  The sound that he made could only be described as a grunt. For a split second Meg thought that it was a sound of disgust. She wanted to sink into the floor and disappear, but if he was disgusted, he wouldn't be going for her button on her jeans. He dragged her panties down with the denim. The cool air of the room flooded over her skin, and Meg felt exposed. She was exposed, and he still had on his jeans.

  Meg didn't have time to freak out, because he didn't give her a chance before his hands were back on her. It seemed like he touched every spot that she was overly conscious of; he lingered on her thighs, her slightly rounded belly, before moving to cup her breasts. She made a desperate sound when his thumb brushed over her nipple.

  “If you like something, tell me you like it.” He shifted his fingers, rolled her nipples between his fingers. “And if you don't, you tell me that, too.”

  “I like that. Oh fuck, I like that a lot.” It was a surprise that she could say the words. Dirty talk always made her feel incredibly awkward, which was an instant mood killer for her. Except she'd never been more turned on than she was at that moment.

  “I got something else that you're going to like.” He grinned as he leaned in to kiss her. Disappointment rose in
her as he released her breast, but then his hands were on her ass. He pulled her closer, she felt him against her belly, hard and long. Meg was sure that she was going to like it, even if the logistics of fitting all of that inside her was terrifying. His mouth never left hers as he spun her around and walked her over to the bed. “Turn around and get on the bed, hands and knees.”

  Meg swallowed hard as she did what he asked. Not being able to see him, to not know what he was doing, made her nervous all over again. She felt her legs tremble as he eased them further apart. He pressed his length against her ass, the rough denim against her most sensitive spots. When he thrust his hips, she moaned. “You have a spectacular ass.” He moved one hand to her lower back, pushed down. “That's right. Just like that.”

  “Oh!” Meg felt her body shake when he slid his hand between her legs. “I like that. Oh!” His fingers moved in a slow circle over her clit and she wanted more. She rolled her hips against him, shifted her legs wider. She felt her body resist as he pressed his fingers against her, inside of her. There was sharp sting of pain as her body clenched. She whimpered and let her head fall forward. If she couldn't take his fingers, she sure as shit wasn't going to be able to take his cock. She wanted his cock deep inside of her so that she could feel the pleasure he was sure to bring her.